In astrology, the fact that the planet was hurtling toward Libra, my sign, meant that I would feel the influence of the “luckiest” planet in the sky for as long as it was in that position (one year). Furthermore, I truly felt fortunate that year. I had no trouble meeting people I liked. I met the person who proposed to me. The bright, vast presence of Jupiter, floating directly above me like a 61.42 billion km2 talisman, woke me up each day curious and excited. Jupiter, I thought to myself, thank you. My favorite space planet is you.
That year, my obsession with astrology may have reached new heights, but it has always existed. To ensure that I would have an accurate birth chart—an insight into my character based on the alignment of the planets at my time of birth—my mother wrote down the time of my birth, which occurred at 6.36 a.m. Growing up, my grandmother frequently read our tarot, the cards spread out on her delicate, extravagant bed, a vehicle for an implicit closeness.
I also had a personal relationship with astrology.
Potential connections would be screened through star signs (I date Sagittariuses, not Capricorns). The planets would provide an explanation for life choices (nobody goes out during Cancer season). Additionally, my astrological makeup (double Libra) had a significant impact on my self-perception. charming when necessary, persuasive, and a little bit sloppy). In later years, I would check astrology apps like Co-Star and The Pattern daily as well as horoscope websites.
However, my obsession occasionally produced confusion rather than clarity. I think there is a common misconception among those who practice astrology that it is an evidence-based science (smug critics love to roll their eyes at the idea that the stars “predict the future”). However, this is a fundamental misinterpretation of the purpose of astrology for many. Astrology is more about learning more about yourself and the world around you, like praying or any other spiritual practice.
It prompts you to monitor yourself: what is causing me to feel this way, and why? But if astrology isn’t helping you see things clearly, it can feel like you’re using a useless gimmick or ignoring the real problem in favor of an external, uncontrollable explanation. What’s more, now and again, that is the way I began to feel.
I would shuffle and reshuffle my tarot cards, either trembling when I saw one of the more negative cards (such as “failure,” “cruelty,” or “ruin”) or anxiously hoping for a different response. I saw the ways my go-to crystal gazing applications started to influence my reasoning adversely: assuming that you open one first thing that says “you will wind up at the focal point of a double-crossing today”, you’re likely going to feel somewhat dubious of individuals.
